A Swan's Song
by Moonlady9
Summary: Pain, it seemed to chase her everywhere she went. All she wanted was to be happy but she couldn't leave the pain behind. This was the only way for her to be happy.


**A Swan's Song **

**This is a short one shot that I wrote over a long time. I only wrote in it when I was feeling depressed so it is and extremely depressing story. I think thatthis storycould apply to any female Titan character and it would be a real shame if I narrowed it to only one character since it also represents thousands of people.**

**Warning: Character death and depressing**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans

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_The silver swan, which, living, had no note,_

_when Death approached, unlocked her silent throat._

_Leaning her breast upon the reedy shore,_

_thus sung her first and last and sung no more._

She stood on the edge of the cliffs waiting, her womanly figure being attacked by the cold black rain, letting the wind chill her bones, but still she stood waiting, unmoving. She stared into the dark oblivion of the sea that took shelter below, the cliffs standing firm and tall at the daunting waves that threatened the mighty rocks. She could feel the spray of the sea hit her face, she could smell the aroma that was clearly the ocean's, the breeze run through her tresses. Her eyes, lost of all emotion, stared blankly at the swan that was circling the rocks below her. A white solitary swan in the dark and stormy sea.

It swam gracefully around the waves and rocks, as if having traveled that same route before and knew it by heart.

She followed the swans movements, the way it automatically knew which way to turn so the waves wouldn't harm it, so the rocks wouldn't damage it.

Always running away from danger, afraid to take risks, of hurting herself. She was selfish, she would rather hurt others than let them see her pain, but there were things that are not meant to be shared and must be selfish about, like pain.

The swan wondered around the jagged rocks, searching. All she ever searched for was acceptance and a home, a real home.

She had been young when she was ripped away from her home and for the years to come she endured torture. She endured pain that no little girl should ever endure.

Then she ran, she ran as far away as she could and as fast as she could only to trip, to trip into his hands. He helped heal her wounds, both mentally and physically. For the first time in her life she felt love, she learned the meaning of compassion and of sacrifice.

He helped her up when she fell and yet he didn't know why she would trip and fall, he would just offer his hand to her, never asking for a for anything in return.

She never wanted him to carry her chains with her. He had been too kind to her, too compassionate. The chains that tied her down and she tripped over would be hers to carry forever, that was her sacrifice.

But eventually the chains caught up to her. All that she hoped would be forgotten came back. When he finally saw her chains she couldn't wait to see what he had to say or what he saw in her. Se just ran aways, tears trailing behind her. He was disgusted by her, she was certain.

This time she didn't have anyone to help her up when she would fall.

She had never felt so alone, like the white swan swimming solitary on the bleak sea.

The swan stopped wandering and began to move swiftly. Her eyes followed the swans movements. Its eyes never moving from its destination, determination in its grace.

A short distance away she saw the object the swan was swimming towards. From behind a large rock another swan appeared, just as majestic and elegant as the other. This swan stayed next to the stone, just waiting for the other swan to come.

The waves seem to come faster and stronger. She could feel the mist of the waves as they broke on the cliffs hit her body along with the rain that continued to pelt her in frenzy.

She watched as the unmoving swan was swallowed up by a wave. She stared intently at the black sea waiting for the swan to come up unharmed.

She had lived waiting for someone to save her from her darkness, from her misery. She waited for years, carrying her chains patiently. Weakness prevailed and she stopped waiting and started to search instead. She had innocently grabbed hold of the wrong hands as they helped her up when she tripped over her chains. The hands that she held on to were callused, but she trusted them only to find out that they would eventually only push her back down and mock her.

One time she finally was tired of being pushed down by others. She picked herself up and ran, her chains following behind her, growing. She tried many times to escape from her imprisonment only to be left with scars and still chained.

Still she continued to trip but refused to grab the hands that offered to help her up, afraid that they were calloused. Her chains were becoming heavier and harder to bear. In a moment of weakness she grabbed hold of a hand that appeared in front of her tear covered eyes. These hands weren't calloused, they were soft and warm. As she stood up she was met with a tender smile and heartwarming eyes but in the end she ran away from him when she opened up to him.

The swan below began to appear from the water. She continued to watch as the swan shook away the cold water from its body.

She looked up towards the sky. The rain hit her face and washed her hair away from her face. She saw nothing but darkness and gray clouds. She closed her eyes and continued to feel the rain hit her face. She was used to the cold and to the pain, but even she had to admit that feeling warmth and happiness was a better alternative.

Her thoughts continued to linger into the darkest depths of her mind. All she had ever been was a burden on everyone, especially to her parents. Or else why else had they been so quick to give her up. Her heart ached as her thought's turned to him. Maybe deep down she had been scared of seeing disgust in his eyes. She had seen horror in other's eyes when they learned about her past, and her torture.

Her eyes were still watching the swans that were being thrashed around by the violent waves.

She looked back at everything that she had accomplished over the years, but the only things that came into her mid was all the pain the world had caused her and all the people she had hurt. All the people that she had loved. She thought back to his eyes. They were so kind and gentle. They had seen much pain and loss but they never lingered in the past but always looked forward towards the future. He was so much stronger than she could ever be. Maybe that's why she always felt so weightless around him.

It seemed that there was nothing in her life that validated her positive influences on the things and people around her. They only confirmed how truly useless she really was.

The sky seemed to turn darker as the clouds poured out their distress.

She just couldn't keep going with her façade, she had to cry. Torrents of tears slid down her face, joining with the rain that continued to pelt her being.

Her body shivered with sobs as she fell down on her knees. Her bare knee's hitting sharp rocks and mud. Not even the physical pain could take away any of her emotional suffering. It was at these moments that all she wished for was to crawl into a hole and just let herself rot and die. Slowly, painfully, so she could experience all the pain that she had caused others.

A chilling shriek, haunting yet so beautiful, like a symphony of the planets sounding the death of innocence could be heard through the storming sea. It sounded all around her, sending shivers down her spine. She looked around her and seeing only darkness she turned down to the ocean below.

At the bottom of the cliff in the darkness of the ocean there lay a swan lifeless next to the rock then swallowed up by the black sea.

Her eyes widened in shock as she stared at the waters beneath. The sound still lingered in her ears, angels mourning for the death of thing so pure. She sobbed harder for the swans, one dead the other alone, for her pain, for her life.

She couldn't take it anymore. Her mind was blurry, her eyesight hazed. She ran her fingers through her soaked hair and sobbed out harder. She wondered if it was worth living a life full of pain and suffering. A life with no love, a life where the closest she had gotten to kissing someone was when they tried to rape her. That was no life, she had no life. She was just a waste of red earth and breath.

She slowly stood up and walked up closer to the edge of the cliff. Her tears fell down to the sharp rocks below. She clenched her fist around her hair near her temples and shook her head violently. She let her arms fall to her side. She couldn't live on like this, her eyes rested on the first swan, it looked so sad, so alone as it wandered over to the rock where its mate had disappeared. She could almost hear its pain.

More pain, she just couldn't get away from it, it followed her everywhere as if it chased her. She saw a bright flash of light in the horizon and heard a thunderous roar from the sky. She always loved thunder storms, they seemed to reflect the agony in her soul. How she wanted to scream out to the world with all her might but every time she almost did a light stopped her, a good person. She had only encountered enough to count in one hand.

Her life seemed so pathetic, no one had ever really loved her and everyone she had loved had betrayed her in the worst ways, or she had betrayed them. all she wanted was peace, happiness and it seemed that she would never find it here on this earth.

She looked up to the dark sky and down to the ocean. She couldn't live on with being unhappy anymore, she couldn't. She closed her eyes and took a step forward the tips of her shoes protruding from the edge of the cliff and taking a deep breath and with a tearful sob she fell to the violent ocean below, her life gone, giving her body to the sea.

The chorus of the planetary choir sang again as the second swan died and was taken as well. Souls pure and innocent were mourned by cherubic laments.

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Please review and if you like my skills then go check out my other Teen Titan stories "I don't want to miss a thing" and "Goodbye, Friend" and tell me what you think of those. **

**Love,**

**Josy**

**PS suicide is never a solution**

**Think about this... You may not realize it, but it's 100 true.**

_1. At least 2 people in this world LOVE you so much they would DiE for you._

_2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way._

_3. A SMiLE from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you._

_4. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep._

_5. You mean the world to someone._

_6. If not for you, someone may not be living._

_7. You are special and unique._

_8. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you._

_9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it._

_10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world._

_11. Always remember the compliments you received. FORGET about the rude remarks._

_12. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know._

_13. If you have a GREAT FRiEND, take the time to let them know that they are great._

**Just a piece of my amazing wisdom! Lol don't forget to review!**


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